Ко мне обратился мой товарищ с просьбой разместить объявление о продаже его детища. Долгое время он поддерживал данный ресурс своим сайтом и с него шел отличный трафик. Ниже объявление:

/*
 * OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do.
 * I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that
 * the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid
 * fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using
 * indices and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator
 * implementation. So there.
 */
$firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren();
foreach ($firstList as $node)
{
    $nodes = $node->getChildren();
    break;                // wtf?
}

//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//

// no comments for you
// it was hard to write
// so it should be hard to read

options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.

//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

double penetration; // ouch

//somedev1 - 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Logic screen
//somedev2 - 5/22/07 Temporary my ass

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public

Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up; //ha ha

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood that I was doing
//Now, God only knows

<form method='post' enctype='multipart/form-data'>
<input type="file" id="imf" name="imf"/>
<input type="button" id="Save"/>
</form>

$("#Save").live("click", function(){

var photo = document.getElementById("imf");
var file  = photo.files[0];

   $.post('/user/saveNewPhoto', {'imf':file.getAsDataURL(), fname:file.fileName }, function( data ){
   alert ( data );
    });

});

if($rs===false){
        $rs='false';
}
elseif($rs=="dup"){
        $rs = "dup";
}
elseif($rs=="bad_link"){
        $rs = "bad_link";
}
else{
        $rs = 'true';
}

fastcgi_finish_request();

$to = $_POST['to'];
$body = $_POST['body'];
$subject = $_POST['subject'];

if ( $to && $body && $subject )
{
        echo 'Ваше письмо успешно отправлено';
        # После этой инструкции посетителю уйдет ответ
        fastcgi_finish_request();
        # Сама отправка будет выполнена на фоне
        mail($to, $subject, $body);
}
else
{
        echo 'Вы не ввели все необходимые данные';
}

<?php
class calculator {
  static public $pi = 3.14151692;

  static public function add($x,$y) {
    return $x + $y;
  }
}

$s = calculator::$pi;
$result = calculator::add(3,7);
print("$result");
?>

<?php class foo {

  function divide($x,$y) {
    if($y==0) throw new Exception("деление на ноль недопустимо");
    return $x/$y;
  }
}

$x = new foo();

try {
  $x->divide(3,0);  
} catch (Exception $e) {
    echo $e->getMessage();
    echo "\n<br />\n";
    // Какие-нибудь драконовские меры
}
?>

<?php
class WeirdProblem extends Exception {

   private $data;

   function WeirdProblem($data) {
        parent::exception();
        $this->data = $data;
    }

    function getMessage() {
        return $this->data . " вызвало какое-то странное исключение!";
    }
}
?>

<?php
namespace Math {

  class Complex {
    //...код...
    function __construct() {
      print("привет");
    }
  }
}

$m = new Math::Complex();
?>